So Not Happening
by Antigone Lokibride
Summary: A girl who just won' keep a name is babysitting Loki. She dares him to look at Fan fictions about him and he does. What will happen when this unfeeling chicky starts rolling all over the ground with the cool headed god of mischief?


"WHAT!? This! All of this…this… Bullshit! None of this would ever happen! I don't do this crap!"

"Well, if you don't like it you shouldn't have looked."

"You said I should!"

"Since when have you listened to me? You almost killed my pizza man because I said not to hurt every single person you see."

"That was jest!"

"A knife in the stomach is a jest?! Some trickster."

"Hey, I healed him and erased his memory!"

"That negates to point that you did it! It was wrong and immoral! Bad! Bad Loki!"

"Do not treat me like a dog! I am a god and will not be bossed around by a weak female midgardian who sits on the couch all day writing stupid stories and watching two brother chase supernatural entities in an Impala. An IMPALA."

"HEY! Respect the car reindeer games!"

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!"

"What only your boyfriend allowed to call you that?"

"Stark is not my boyfriend!"

"Hahahahahaha! Loki has a boyfriend! A super rich boyfriend!"

"That is it!" _proceeds to tackle extremely pretty girl off of couch and roll across the floor. Both are struggling to get on top of the other. She ends up on top._

"HA! SUCKER! Girls rule, and if you doubt it, look who's on the bottom!"

"Shut up!"

"OY!"

"OW! That hurt Kiki!"

"Today my name is Antigone!"

"Why do you always change your name?"

"Because my real name is stupid and boring, and if I'm bored I shoot things with my 1923 revolver."

"That is troubling. And you say I'm violent."

"SHUDDUP!"

"OW! Oh I am so done!" _Insert more rolling around like idiots trying to get on top of the other._

_Stop with Loki on top. Antigone is upset and reaches up to box his ears and he grabs her wrists and pins her to the ground, holding her still by locking his legs over hers. She can't move so tries to get him off by screaming. He freaks out and tries to shut her up by kissing her. Because, you know, just covering her mouth totally wouldn't have worked (insert eye roll). Antigone stops and just kisses him. He was just like 'shit no don't scream here let me put my lips on yours and push down so you can't make any noise' but NOOOOOO freaking girl has to make-out with the super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot god!_

_She pressed her tongue through his lips and moved her lips. It only takes him moments to sync up with her. The two relax into each other as Antigone wraps her arms around Loki's neck. He is propping himself up on his elbows and trying to pull away while still trying to kiss her. He can't understand why he loves her, or why she would love him, but he doesn't want to hurt her, but he wants her, like this, closer and deeper, but this is what he wants. She pulls herself up onto him, hooking her legs around his hips as he sits back on his heels, kneeling on the floor. _

_What is she doing? Why did she kiss him back? What is the matter with her? She was so not into him…right? Because that is why she took the job as his caretaker in the first place. She wasn't interested in him, or guys, or people in general. But she wants him! Like dirty, bad, 'how could you possibly think that' want. And she could feel he wanted her. Not like emotionally feel him, oh no. She could feel him growing through his jeans and his racing heart through his t-shirt. He was breathing as heavily as she was and she so wanted to pull off his shirt and just press herself against him._

_Then something snapped. Some psychic link made them both stop and back up by about 1000 miles. And that is what they did. Stop kissing and Loki backed up against the wall, while Antigone ran to the bathroom. Loki sat still panting and trying to calm himself. What. The. Actual. FUCK? How did she even factor into his love life? His NON-EXISTENT love life. He shook his head and closed his eyes. It was just the heat of the moment. She was pretty, he had a…testosterone…influx. And he lost control. Never would happen again. Ever. Unless she wanted…NO never again. He sighed and almost pulled a sad face. He sooo wanted her…_

_Antigone was talking to herself. Well, talking to the Cheshire Cat. She was her, and her reflection was the Cat. _

"Gur…whaaaaaaa…..?"

"Don't even ask! I have no clue what just happened."

"Gettin' it on is what just happened sweetie."

"Yeah, but I don't know why…"

"Um, 'cuz you luv him, duh!"

"Um, No, No and no."

"Why?"

"Well it would never work, and it would so not be good, even if it did…do you think it could work?"

"GUR!"

"OKAY! Fine. Won't happen again. Unless…

"GUR!"

"FINE!"


End file.
